Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Why I want to take William Shatner out to dinner...

I'm sure Mr Shatner must get asked out to dinner a lot. He's a cool dude, a celebrity, and I'm sure a sparkling conversationalist. But I want to take him out to dinner because I think he would appreciate a night out with me.

I'm in high demand, just ask any of my friends/people who think they're my friends. I am always too busy doing something else. I'm caught up in my head writing, I'm shepherding my thirteen thousand dollar cat to and from the veterinarians, or I'm snatching intimate moments with my boyfriend like sexy ships in the night.

It's exhausting for them. Frankly, I have no idea why they're still my friends.

BUT, surely this pledge to remain my lifelong friend and give me lifts when I need them SHOWS what an awesome individual I am.

Although I'm sure you're approached by scary fans all the time Mr Shatner, I will admit upfront that I have watched, enjoyed, and made others watch Star Trek in all its incantations.

But while I am a scifi fan, I balance out this nerdiness/freak geek girlishness with a killer dress style and the assurance that I love Star Trek because it was an exceptional show. Not because of Klingon languages (very cool), exotic tribbles (uber cool) and interracial making out (the coolest of them all). As a TV writer I get an aesthetic orgasm knowing that scifi hit mainstream TV and stuck there, never daring to give up. I have admittedly been to two conventions in my life, but rest assured, like all scum media, I did not pay to get in.

So, Mr Shatner, I ask you beseechingly (I'd flutter my incredibly long lashes at you, but this blog can only take me so far, so it'll have to wait until we meet in person) to join me for dinner during your visit to Melbourne. I know a secret little place that does a fantastic Chicken San Choy Bow and doesn't overcharge. I await your response eagerly.

If you, like all people who don't want to annoy me, think that Mr Shatner would greatly benefit from joining me for dinner, please feel free to share, Facebook or Tweet this post. The more you share, the more likely mainstream media will pick up on the post four days after the event.

1 comment:

  1. Is his wife invited too? You realize you're a bit touched in the head, right?